MY 2013 MOVIE TOP 20

Due to my ongoing ‘unemployability issues’, I spent a lot of 2013 drowning my sorrows in gallons of visual treats at the local Cineworld (and Waterloo IMAX). I saw 127 different movies on the big screen and here is my pick of the best 20, a few honourable mentions and the worst 10 films I saw this year. Dim the lights...

No.20 - The Impossible

Despite controversy involving the switching of the protagonist family’s nationality from book to film adaptation and criticism that suggested that by focusing on a some wealthy, white tourists the filmmakers had belittled the devastation endured by thousands of Thailand natives who suffered (or lost their lives) during the 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami, I found Juan Antonio Bayona’s film extremely respectful and moving. Both Ewan McGregor and Naomi Watts give solid and affecting performances – to be administered liberally as a reminder of Watts’ acting chops immediately after any viewing of ‘Diana’ – and the fifteen year-old lead, Tom Holland, gives an emotionally charged performance that belies his age, reminiscent of Christian Bale’s introductory turn in Spielberg’s underrated masterpiece, ‘Empire of the Sun’.

No.19 - Blue Jasmine

Many critics raved that ‘Blue Jasmine’ would be hailed as “the biggest Woody in years” - ironically this was, word-for-word, Woody Allen’s diary entry for the first night he met Soon-Yi, Mia Farrow’s adopted daughter – while others proclaimed that Cate Blanchett’s performance saw her “penetrating deeply into a profoundly troubled woman” – bizarrely this was also ‘The National Enquirer’ headline the day after Allen’s relationship with Soon-Yi went public. Joking aside, while many claimed this was not a ‘classic’ Woody Allen film, overpowered by an Oscar worthy performance from Blanchett, I think the film had a lot more going for it than her admittedly powerful portrayal of a woman on the verge. Riffing freely on ‘A Streetcar Named Desire’ and feeling more ‘contemporary’ and ‘relevant’ than anything Allen has written or directed since his 70’s/80’s heyday, this is a solid addition to Allen’s filmography.

No.18 - Nebraska

I’ve spent a fair bit of time with Alexander Payne in my head this year – no, this is not my sad admission of some bizarre mid-life crisis, ageing filmmaker fetish – he directed ‘The Descendants’ starring Shailene Woodley, whom I’ve spent a good few months researching for ‘The Book’ (available to pre-order on Amazon now and in all good bookshops March 2014). ‘Nebraska’ is a typically low-key, but powerful film. It is (surprisingly) funny and moving, with great performances from Bruce Dern, Will Forte and especially June Squibb as Dern’s, ‘I’m only truth-telling’, no-filter spouce.

No.17 - The Bling Ring

So unbelievable it really needs the ‘based on true events’ message to run along the bottom of the screen throughout the film, Sofia Coppola’s fifth film as director tells the story of an infamous group of Californian teenagers who went on a year-long breaking and entering spree through the Hollywood Hills homes of the rich and famous in 2008. Satirical and playful, but using some real court transcripts and dialog lifted from interviews with the actual teens, the film doesn’t try to manipulate the audience into feeling sorry for the ‘poor little rich kids’ and equally refuses to judge their actions. Some great work from a cast of, predominately, newcomers, with a special mention for a stand-out performance from Emma Watson. Awesome! Who knew!

No.16 - One Direction - This Is Us (3D)

I grew up on the outskirts of Edinburgh and as a curious teenager I recall, during my many exploratory visits into the city centre, seeing an old, run down, porno cinema called La Scala Electric – still showing lurid looking XXX films well into the early 1980’s. The front of the building had an intoxicatingly dangerous and grubby allure and everyone had a vague idea of what went on there (although you never saw anyone actually entering or leaving). Now I was never brave enough to attempt to buy a ticket or sneak into a screening of the big porno hits of the time (‘Raiders of the Licked Arse’, ‘9 to 5 Inches’, ‘On Golden Showers’ - I’m guessing here, but I’ll bet they all exist), but I’m assuming it would have felt something akin to how I felt buying a ticket to see ‘One Direction – This Is Us’. I can also only assume that the experience would have had a similarly life affirming effect – okay, maybe not. I’m a big fan of shows like ‘X Factor’ and ‘American Idol’ but I tend to lose interest in most of the music and artists these shows create. I had no strong opinion either way about One Direction. ‘What Makes You Beautiful’ is a near perfect slice of post-‘Glee’ pop and the singles from their new album show a savvy understanding of the need for boy bands to tailor their material for (as well as mature at the same rate as) their (predominately female) fan base. But nothing could have prepared me for how much I loved this movie. Aside from the obligatory, scream inducing, spare pair of pant necessitating concert footage, the film gives the viewer a rare insight into what it’s really like to walk on stage to face a massive arena crowd – you are reminded that these ‘pop idols’ are actually ‘just kids’, their nerves are sometimes (understandably) palpable and it has more than a passing resemblance to the ‘in the thick of battle’ opening scenes from ‘Saving Private Ryan’. The strongest impression you are left with is that despite the obvious perks that come with the success, the inevitability of the band’s ‘moment in the sun’ ending means the schedule is relentless and the work-load extreme, there is also real heartbreak for the parents who waved goodbye to their teenage sons as they headed off to an ‘X Factor’ audition, only for them to never really come home again. Forget what you think you know, forget the music and enjoy the best concert movie I’ve seen since ‘Stop Making Sense’. Check out the ‘extended fan cut’ of the film that appeared briefly in cinema’s at the end of the theatrical run – presumably with the boy’s ACTUAL fifteen minutes of fan tacked on at the end.

No.15 - Alan Partridge : Alpha Papa

I could never be described as a massive fan of Steve Coogan’s Alan Partridge, but everything I’d seen over the years had made me laugh and I caught the whole of the ‘Mid Morning Matters’ series when it aired on Sky Atlantic in 2012. ‘Alpha Papa’ made me belly-laugh from start to finish - from the lip-synching Roachford drive to the finale shoot-out. The film succeeds in growing the comedy (and the situation) just enough for its transition from TV to cinema (without Alan heading off on a hilarious mishap filled holiday or taking a fish-out-of-water job on an American radio station). Packing more laughs into its ninety minutes running time than every other ‘comedy’ film I saw this year put together, ‘Alpha Papa’ was by far my funniest film of the year.

No.14 - Blackfish

The only ‘normal’ (i.e non-IMAX) film I paid money to see this year – isn’t it funny how the Unlimited card direct debit doesn’t even register as ‘payment’ anymore – and it was worth every penny. Another ‘expose’ type nature documentary (along the same lines as ‘The Cove’) telling the story of one particular Killer Whale (Tilikum), who was involved in the deaths of three individuals during his thirty years in captivity, culminating in the highly publicised death of Dawn Brancheau, one of SeaWorld, Orlando’s most experienced trainers in 2010. With breathtaking library footage of Orca whales in the wild as well as in captivity, expert testimony and contributions from several ex-trainers, the film is thought provoking and informative, without over stressing its agenda.

No.13 - World War Z (3D)

In 2002, after a preview showing of ’28 Days Later’, I was lucky enough to attend a Q&A session with Danny Boyle (Director) and Alex Garland (Screenwriter) where they discussed sections of the first draft script that had failed to make the finished film due to budget restraints. Amongst the scenes they had story-boarded, but never filmed, was an extended sequence where the group of survivors flee England in a jumbo jet (flown by a blind pilot) while hoards of ‘zombies’(or ‘Infected’ as they insisted on calling them) attack the plane, throwing themselves into the engines as it takes off. I’d always wondered what these scenes would have looked like had Boyle and Garland been able to fully realise their vision. Ten years on, I was pleased to see that Marc Forster managed to deliver something of that scale and excitement with his, considerably more expensive, ‘World War Z’. Despite a well documented ‘troubled production’, a completely re-shot ending, criticism concerning its disregard for the source novel and the kind of pre-release scoffing usually reserved for the mega-budget output of James Cameron, Gore Verbinski and Michael Bay, against all the odds, ‘World War Z’ became a $500 million worldwide hit and a sequel has already been green-lit. Marc Foster delivers the best opening set-piece in any film I saw this year – in under ten minutes a cosy family breakfast of pancakes and an everyday school run descends into a full-scale city centre zombie melt-down – and the pace never really lets up, with several nail-biting set-pieces, leading to the Welsh bio-lab set finale. Many reviewers had a problem with this relatively down-beat, ‘tacked-on’ ending, but in retrospect it’s a refreshing alternative to the over-the-top, bombastic, bash-fest final acts of the summer’s big blockbusters (‘Man of Steel’, ‘Wolverine’, ‘Iron Man 3’). Especially effective is the slightly longer blu-ray cut that re-instates some of the films more bloodthirsty moments and lets the film ‘breathe out’ a little.

No.12 - Behind the Candelabra

Michael Douglas and Matt Damon give the performances of their careers in this HBO funded bio-pic – made for TV in the US but given a theatrical release in the UK. The film explores the relationship between Liberace and his long-time companion Scott Thorson – a relationship so twisted and unhealthy it makes Nigella Lawson and Charles Saatchi look like giddy teenage sweethearts. Steven Soderbergh directs with a great eye for detail and never lets the camp excess seem anything but normal in the pair’s artificially enhanced lifestyle. The real tragedy is that, as a made-for-TV movie, ‘Behind the Candelabra’ and the performances of Douglas, Damon and a scene stealing Rob Lowe, won’t be eligible for the Oscar glory they deserve.

No.11 - Sunshine On Leith

It was with some confusion that I read about a new musical, featuring the songs of The Proclaimers, set in Edinburgh of all places. This was the city in which I was born and raised and despite having its fair share of ‘gay-innuendo’ locations – Arthur’s Seat, The Mound and everyone I know has had a good lick of Edinburgh Rock in their time – I would imagine that San Francisco, New York and Brighton were more appropriate locations to set a musical. Then, when I actually saw the trailer for ‘Sunshine On Leith, I posted on Facebook that I had lost all power of subjective reasoning on the matter, so swept away was I by the views of my beautiful home-town and the strains of The Proclaimers’ ‘Over and Done With’ blasting out on the soundtrack - I couldn’t decide whether the film would be ‘pure-dead-brilliant’ or ‘utter pish’! To be honest, I still don’t know. I started crying from the moment the camera swept up from the Water of Leith into Edinburgh’s city centre and I was emitting full, gulping sobs by the time everyone was “walking 500 miles” (and walking 500 more) on the steps of the Scottish National Gallery. I may be having some sort of patriotism induced mid-life crisis.

No.10 - Good Vibrations

This independent film, which tells the story of Terri Hooley (founder of Belfast’s influential Good Vibrations record store and label), was an unexpected gem. Hooley is credited with bringing punk-rock to Ireland and was instrumental in discovering The Undertones in the late 1970’s. The film is a fairly straight forward, frank and funny re-telling of his few highs and many more lows. I missed Punk by about three years – ’77 was all about ‘Star Wars’ for me and it would be a good couple of years before I became completely transfixed by the charms of Debbie Harry, Thereza Bazar and David Van Day (but that’s another story) – so the real connection to the time, the music or ‘the movement’ are pretty much lost on me, but the scene in which an unsuspecting Hooley gets swept up in the euphoria of his first punk gig had me shedding a few tears as it perfectly encapsulates the energy and power to transform that a passion for music can generate.

No.9 - The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug (3D)

Peter Jackson really does know how to put a big budget, large scale adventure film together – the real problem seems to be that he just doesn’t know when to stop. The argument against turning the virtually pamphlet-like ‘The Hobbit’ into nearly nine hours of film is lost on me – the source novel is a separate thing, a starting point. This is ‘Peter Jackson’s – The Hobbit’ and I’m willing to go along for that ride. ‘An Unexpected Journey’ had many flaws – it took too long to really get going, the songs were a self indulgent mistake and the humour in the Troll sequence makes ‘Mrs Brown’s Boys’ look like a Noel Coward comedy – but on repeated viewings, I forgave it most of its faults – Trolls! No! But it looks like spending some time with Spielberg making the ‘Tin Tin’ movie has rubbed off on Jackson and the sequel, ‘The Desolation of Smaug’, doesn’t waste much time getting to the point - The point being ‘fun’ and ‘excitement’  - ramping up the action and maintaining a fairly even, steady pace from beginning to end. From the giant spiders of Mirkwood to the empty barrel/river escape from the Elvenking’s prison, ‘Smaug’ is a theme park ride waiting to happen. It’s easy, in the wake of all this spectacle, to overlook that Martin Freeman has, over both movies, delivered a brilliantly textured comic performance as Bilbo Baggins – virtually unrecognisable physically and in tone from his on-going turn as Dr John Watson in ‘Sherlock’ - just one of many great performances in the film- even Orlando ‘Thank-you-thank-you-thank-you-Mr-Jackson-I-just-couldn’t-have-done-another-episode-of-Casualty’ Bloom doesn’t let the side down.

No.8 - The Hunger Games: Catching Fire

I’m a big fan of ‘The Hunger Games’ books and was more relieved than anything else when the first movie didn’t turn out to be as stilted and creatively underwhelming as the hugely successful (but mostly laugh out loud awful) ‘Twilight’ movies. Gary Ross’s direction gave the first film of the trilogy (saga?) a much edgier, more vibrant and kinetic visual style and Jennifer Lawrence’s Katniss Everdeen instantly achieved a depth and exuded the kind of charisma that Kristen Stewart’s Bella Swan had struggled to reach across five movies. On the down side, Ross had failed to fully convey the less obvious elements of the Katniss/Peeta/Gale ‘love triangle’ and in the climax of the film, down-playing  the full extent of Peeta’s injuries and helplessness undermines Katniss’s need to protect him, lowering the dramatic stakes as the characters move into the second film – Peeta is supposed to have lost a leg due to the injuries he has sustained and doesn’t know how to swim as he enters the water-logged arena at the beginning of ‘Catching Fire’. News that the sequel would be directed by someone else was seen as a mixed blessing. With Ross out and Francis Lawrence in, ‘Catching Fire’ spends much of its first half redressing some of the minor niggles I had with the first film – quickly clarifying the fact that Katniss isn’t really that interested in having a romantic relationship with anyone (she’s a little bit busy trying to stay alive and sparking a revolution thank you very much!), forcing home the importance of the ‘fake’ couple she has created with Peeta in order to maintain their place in The Capital’s affections, as well as showing the reality of Peeta’s ‘unrequited love’. Stripped of most of the first films tabloid baiting ‘kids killing kids’ premise, ‘Catching Fire’ is a much more straight forward action adventure with several obstacles to overcome before its explosive conclusion. The success of the first film ensured that ‘Catching Fire’, with almost twice the budget, would deliver bigger and better special effects and set-pieces. Time will tell if this second instalment will become the definitive ‘Hunger Games’ movie – It seems unlikely that the comparatively ‘doomy’, down-beat and positively grim final act of ‘Mockingjay’ will be selling many ‘Subway’ happy meals. Like ‘The Empire Strikes Back’, the other great ‘middle film’ in a beloved fantasy franchise, ‘Catching Fire’ ends under a cloud of uncertainty - one of our heroes is similarly captured and imprisoned and, in a startling final moment, with a dramatic close-up on the face of a rescued Katniss, we see her expression change, showing her ultimate realisation of what has happened and what she must become – she must take on the mantle, and embracing the role, of the ‘Mockingjay’.  21^st November 2014 can’t come fast enough!

No.7 - The Way, Way Back

Following in a long tradition of disillusioned teens in coming-of-age movies that includes ‘The Graduate’, ‘Stand By Me’ and more recently, ‘Adventureland’ and ‘The Perks Of Being A Wallflower’, ‘The Way, Way Back’ was both funny and charming in equal measure. Scene-stealing performances from TV ‘superstars’ Steve Carell and Allison Janney threaten to overpower the delicate realism on display from the rest of the cast, but the affection generated by Liam James’ portrayal of Duncan and the life-changing relationships he nurtures with Sam Rockwell’s Owen and the other workers at the local water park, ‘Water Wizz’, are enough to give the film the balance it needs to be truly affecting and uplifting.

No.6 - Captain Phillips

I was lucky enough to see ‘Captain Phillips’ at a London Film Festival screening slightly ahead of its general release and while I’m not sure who I thought actually made up these festival audiences, I was surprised to find out that the crowd, whom I assumed would be the film-watching ‘elite’ – critics, media and ‘real’ film fans – were actually a bigger bunch of twats than the average Cineworld crowd I spend most of my spare time with. In a sold-out cinema, several people arrived long after the film had started and the woman in front of me took THREE separate phone calls during the performance. Despite all this going on I was pretty much gripped from beginning to end by ‘Captain Phillips’. Although the film hits many tried and tested story beats, Paul Greengrass adds layers that ensure you become totally immersed and care enough about the people on both sides of the story. This is the flip-side of every action movie you’ve ever seen – imagine Mike Leigh directing ‘Under Siege’. What pushes this movie into my Top 10 is Tom Hank’s performance. He seems to have lost some ground in the Oscar race, but in the last twenty minutes of the film, Hanks delivers the rawest and most heart-breaking scene I saw this year. Also the best 'add a word/ruin a movie' I came up with this year - 'Captain Mark Phillips'.

No.5 - Philomena

Steve Coogan was definitely ‘having a moment’ in 2013. He not only delivered my comedy of the year (with ‘Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa’) and launched a billion, “tee-hee! He said Bottom” jokes thanks to his voice work on ‘Despicable Me 2’, he also co-wrote and starred, alongside a top-of-her-game Judi Dench, in ‘Philomena’. The subject matter may have already been explored - in the rather darker, more divisive ‘Magdalene Sisters’ – but the charming and smart script packed an emotional punch and more laughs than 95% of the so-called ‘comedies’ I saw this year – well all the ones that didn’t feature Steve Coogan anyway.

No.4 - Before Midnight 

I was more than a little surprised that mid-year an early contender for my film of the year was ‘Before Midnight’, the third instalment of the long gestating relationship saga that I didn’t even know I was waiting for. This is a movie with no special effects, no ‘fast-cut’ editing or emotion prompting score. The takes are long & filled with tightly scripted, but improvised sounding, dialog and it has a main cast of just two actors (Julie Delpy and Ethan Hawke) both in their early forties,  neither  of whom (with the greatest respect) would described themselves as A-listers. Maybe it’s the throw-back to Woody Allen at his wise-cracking, relationship analysing best. All I can say is that despite not particularly relating to the characters circumstances or lifestyle, I cared about what happened to them, I laughed (a lot) and the movie delivered my favourite line of dialog this year – Celine is trying to express how difficult it had been raising the couples young daughters alone, while Jesse was away on book tours or writing breaks, resorting to walking the city streets at night with the girls in a double pushchair, trying to lull them to sleep. She recalls an incident when a man tried to attack her, but gave up because she looked ‘so pathetic’ - She says, “That’s the one good thing about being over 35, you don’t get raped so much”.

No.3 - Star Trek : Into Darkness (3D) 

On its initial release, I went to see Star Trek: Into Darkness three times at the cinema and scored it a more than solid 9/10. I described it as “an ‘everything-I-could-possibly-have-wanted’ Star Trek movie”. Proving that JJ’s original ‘Star Trek’ had assembled a near perfect cast, it’s the strength of these actors working individually and in different groupings that really shines in Into Darkness. The deepening friendship and mutual respect that acts as the glue to every Kirk/Spock related Star Trek story is central to Into Darkness and acts as a believable touchstone for the events of the film’s final coda. Don’t get me wrong, I still have problems with that final act – following (but flipping) the final resolution to Wrath of Khan is just the wrong side of ‘affectionate referencing’ for me and I would have been happier if they’d had the confidence in their audience to carry Kirk’s ‘resurrection’ over into film No.3, but to be honest, that’s a small niggle in a mountain of large gold nuggets. The pre-backlash Benedict Cumberbatch adds real weight to, what might be in another’s hands, some fairly over-wrought dialogue – the first prison-cell scene is pitch-perfect and his delivery of the “I will walk over your cold corpses to recover my people” line is chilling and exhilarating in equal measure.

It’s in the script department that Into Darkness really sets itself apart. There are numerous grand-standing speeches and some very quotable lines.

There’s no shortage of edge-of-your-seat set pieces either - The entire Kronos sequence bodes well for Episode VII, riffing as it does on several key Star Wars moments including the Millennium Falcon escape from the exploding Death Star at the end of The Return of the Jedi and the dog-fight escape from Mos Eisely in Star Wars. The warp-speed chase between the ‘Enterprise’ and the ‘Vengeance’ is visually dazzling and, after the finale free-fall from space, the ‘Enterprise’ rising through the clouds might be the ultimate Star Trek ‘money-shot’. 

Best of all is the ‘space jump’ between the two Federation Starships - Exhilarating, tense and a master-class in the use of special effects and sound-design. News of this sequence must have elicited a few beads of cold sweat from Alfonso Cuarón, the director of ‘Gravity’ - considering that his four-years-in-the making, ‘ground-breaking’ and ‘uniquely innovative’ film’s plot hinges on a lengthy sequence that involves his characters ‘space walking’ in a deadly debris field as they try to escape from a destroyed space shuttle to the safety of a nearby space station! I reject the revisionist reviewing that went on during the films DVD/Blu-Ray release and stand by ‘Into Darkness’ as a worthy entry to the ‘Star Trek’ franchise.

No.2 -Oblivion (IMAX)

Joseph Kosinski’s definitely knows something about creating visually compelling and immersive movies, his last film was ‘Tron: Legacy’ – Disney’s flawed but never less than intriguing franchise re-boot – and in ‘Oblivion’ he delivered the most enjoyable slice of non-franchise sci-fi this year. Many dismissed the film as being ‘style over substance’, but with ‘style’ like that I think I can overlook any shortcomings in the ‘substance’ department. Most of the criticism I read was thinly veiled dislike for Tom Cruise, and while Cruise’s days of troubling ‘Award’s Season’ seem to be over, alongside ‘Gravity’ and ‘World War Z’, ‘Oblivion’ was a startling reminder of the value of good old fashioned ‘Star Power’. Cruise, and an excellent Andrea Riseborough, along with top of the range visual design and a great score from M83 (also my favourite soundtrack of the year) elevate a fairly well-trodden premise to become the film I saw more times on the big screen than any other (four) in 2013.

No. 1 – Gravity (IMAX 3D)

 “At 372 miles above the earth, there is nothing to carry sound, no air pressure, no oxygen, life is impossible.” From the first shot of the first trailer it was clear that this was going to be a strong contender for my movie of the year - George and Sandra in space, explosions in space, Hank Williams in space - and the finished film didn’t disappoint. On the surface it’s a fairly old-fashioned edge-of-your-seat fight for survival, but if you want to look closer you might just catch a glimpse of someone exploring the instinctual need we have to make and maintain connections in life - to friends, to colleagues, to family, to our planet and maybe even to God...But with a (refreshingly) short running time, in the end, ‘Gravity’ (thankfully) doesn’t have much time for navel-gazing and what it lacks in plot and insightful dialogue is more than compensated for in its unparalleled visuals and technical complexity. As Billy Bragg (and then Kirsty MacColl) once said, “It's wrong to wish on space hardware”, but I can’t help wishing I’d seen a few more movies that so thoroughly transported me to somewhere I’ve never been before. In a year filled with some incredible visual treats, ‘Gravity’ was undoubtedly a cut above.

HONOURABLE MENTIONS – The Next Ten:

Cloud Atlas

The Wachowskis and Tom Tykwer attempted to bring David Mitchell’s ‘unfilmable’ novel to the big screen and the resulting film is impossible to categorise, frustrating, confusing, bum-numbingly long but never short of fascinating. A visual feast and an unexpected triumph.

Lincoln

The script was a little ‘dry’ for me, but Daniel Day Lewis’s performance was truly mesmerising. I can honestly say it’s the first time I’ve watched a film and had to keep reminding myself that I was watching an actor, not a real person.

In The House

This French psychological comedy is (shockingly) the only foreign language film in my list – unless you count ‘Sunshine On Leith’ which probably was subtitled in one particular Morningside cinema. Surprisingly funny and deliciously twisted.

The Place Beyond The Pines

This year’s biggest surprise in terms of what the film actually delivered compared to what was hinted at in the trailer. More of a family saga than a straight forward crime drama, the film had a lot more to offer than Ryan Gosling’s best performance of the year (sorry Nicholas, If I want two hours of perfume commercials, I’ll watch the ad breaks during ‘The X Factor’ in Christmas week).

Iron Man 3

A minor disappointment – but a triumph in comparison to ‘Wolverine’ and ‘Man of Steel’ – The final sequence is a master-class in big budget, effects heavy, action cinema, which just about makes up for a soggy middle act, a horribly miss-cast child actor and too much Tony Stark (as opposed to Iron Man).

Kick-Ass 2

I almost didn’t see ‘Kick-Ass 2, the reviews being so awful, but was glad I did. Filled with satisfying character development and a welcome continuation of the first film’s off-kilter humour and approach to the super-hero genre, I can almost forgive the shameless inclusion of a truly terrible Union J song.

Enough Said

Fine performances from the late James Gandolfini and the underrated Julia Louis-Dreyfus elevated this gentle, observational comedy. With so much going on, and with such a great supporting cast, this could easily have been extended and re-written as the whole first season of a great sit-com.

Don Jon

Most notable for featuring a Scarlett Johansson performance which has forced ‘A Tony French Opinion U-turn’! Sharp and incredibly funny.

All Is Lost

A perfect companion piece for ‘Captain Philips’ and this virtually dialog free film is a forceful reminder that ‘less can definitely be more’. Someone should pop a note through to Quentin Tarantino!

Le Week-end

A brilliant study in the ebb and flow of affection that occurs in every long-term relationship and great comic performances from Lindsay Duncan, Jim Broadbent and, a scene stealing, Jeff Goldblum.

BOTTOM 10 – THE WORST MOVIES OF 2013

Movie 43

By far the worst thing I saw this year (and when you see some of the others, you will fully understand the depths to which it sinks). Someone, somewhere has a some really juicy dirt on some of Hollywood’s biggest stars – That’s the ONLY explanation for this mess.

Bula Quo!

Not only did I go to see this, it was the World Premiere in Leicester Square! Who says that my social life has taken a hit since I stopped working at hmv? So bad it’s just really, really, really bad. Makes ‘Spiceworld’ look like...no! wait, that’s really awful too....

Runner Runner

The worst ‘real’ movie I saw this year. People spent a long time and money putting this together and it really doesn’t show. Ben Affleck, not so much phoning in a performance, but actually sending it in using Morse code and Timberlake’s dead-eyed stare that counts as emotion is hilarious. The scene in which he faces of with a gang of Puerto Rican mafia thugs is as convincing as watching a rap battle between Daniel O’Donnell and Chuck D.

Diana

Why? There are undoubtedly interesting stories to be told about the life of Diana Spencer, this made-up, sub-Mills and Boone romance isn’t one of them. Poor Naomi Watts! The tsunami was a walk in the paddling pool compared to the mauling she got from the press on this one. Highlight being Watts walking out of an interview with Simon Mayo on the ‘Mayo and Kermode Film Review’ – still available as a podcast and well worth a listen.

Quartet

If you find ‘Antiques Roadshow’ “a bit controversial” and consider “Call The Midwife” ‘real drama’, then this is definitely for you. I, on the other hand, thought it was bloody awful!

Papadopoulos and Sons

A truly mind-numbing British ‘comedy’ that would have been rejected by The Children’s Film Foundation for being ‘too childish’ and ‘unsophisticated’.

Identity Thief

Another tragic miss-use of Melissa McCarthy’s obvious talents – see also ‘The Heat’ – Not funny!

The Host

Low expectations were well and truly met by Stephanie Meyer’s first post-‘Twilight’ offering. Relying heavily on the kind of internal dialog last heard in the ‘Look Who’s Talking’ franchise, this, along with the insipid ‘How I Live Now’, made it a very bad year for (the undoubtedly talented) Saoirse Ronan.

Jack The Giant Slayer

A long and troubled production – I saw a trailer for this in the US as far back as 2011 – this has to be the worst Nicholas Holt film of the year...oh! wait, here comes ‘Warm Bodies’. It lost more than $100 million dollars at the US box-office for Warners and sent poor Bryan Singer scuttling back to the X-Men franchise with something to prove.

A Good Day To Die Hard

Probably the biggest disappointment of the year – the (almost) impeccable ‘Die Hard’ franchise was brought down faster and more devastatingly than an exploding Chinook in this unbelievably dim and nonsensical sequel. Everyone involved should be ashamed – except Jai Courtney ‘cos he’s HOT.